Something's Missing
by scullyseviltwin
Summary: They banter over Gail, and get down to the heart of their problem… so to speak. CJDanny
1. Default Chapter

Title: Something's Missing  
  
Author: ScullyAsTrinity  
  
Category: Humor/Romance; CJ/Danny  
  
Rating: PG, just pretty fluffy.  
  
Spoilers: Anything after Danny gives CJ Gail.  
  
Feedback: Review me, or just send an IM my way at BNlXPhile12!  
  
Dedication: To the lovely and tasty Amanda, who's urging it was that I write a CJ/Danny fic.  
  
Summary: CJ/Danny; They banter over Gail, and get down to the heart of their problem... so to speak. Forgive the pun.  
  
[Something's Missing]  
  
"CJ! CJ! If the bill isn't being passed then why have Toby and Sam spent so much time on the-?"  
  
"It's the White House Chris; there are other things that need to be written. Arthur!"  
  
"Well what about the wording that the President used at the press conference? Was that meant to be directed to the CEO of GyroCom and the merger that happened last week?"  
  
"No Arthur, when he comments on soft money, he's generally talking about soft money. The President has no comments on the  
  
GyroCom merger as the President has no grasp of technology what so ever." She smiled and noticed the time, realizing that it was time to finish up.  
  
The Press Corp laughed at CJ's lighthearted comment. They had come to realize that comments such as these were not to be taken seriously. Three years ago, however, one of them would most certainly be following up her reply with a question as to why exactly the President hated technology. These were moments that CJ enjoyed, when she was able to do her job well, but to have fun with it at the same time. She lived to tease her press room. She had come to think of the Press Corp as friends (friends who she could discredit and vice versa, but friends none-the-less).  
  
"That's a full lid, have a safe and not-too-productive weekend, and remember no one reads the papers on Saturday anyway." She gathered her papers quickly, thrust her glasses onto her head, and hastily shoved the pile of papers into Carol's hands. The reporters laughed once more.  
  
"Thank you CJ!" They all called, putting their notes hastily away, preparing to leave.  
  
As per usual CJ fell into routine and fell in step directly behind Carol as they both made their way back to CJ's office. Carol exchanged a few words with her and veered off to speak to Margaret.  
  
She thought about the events of the past few days. The week had run surprisingly smooth, except for Tuesday when a lost memo had sent the entire West Wing into a fit of 'It-Wasn't-Me's.' The memo was successfully recovered by Bonnie, who had taken initiative and cleaned up Sam's desk. There it was, lying right on top of Sam's credit card bill. Bonnie promptly returned the memo to Charlie and reminded Sam that if he didn't pay the bill his debt would rise exponentially. CJ had decided a well timed wisecrack towards him would set him rolling. So, the bill got paid and the memo got forwarded and the country ran along just fine, having been almost unseated by a fairly insignificant memo.  
  
She chuckled inwardly, grabbing a file from Donna as she passed by.  
  
None of these factors had anything to do with the state of mind CJ was in. She should have been feeling somewhat relaxed as she didn't have any pressing matters to attend to and no loose ends to tie up. She felt quite the opposite and she couldn't exactly pinpoint the reason why. She was frazzled, and seemed even more irritable than she had been last week, when Josh had succeeded in knocking Gail's fishbowl to the floor, nearly sending Gail to her fishy demise. Luckily, CJ had prepared for that particular scenario; she rushed from behind her desk, plunking Gail back into her bowl, while at the same time pouring distilled water over her. After three days of Josh sending both CJ and Gail gifts of all sorts (including flowers and candy which could not be enjoyed by a fish), he was still on her shit list.  
  
Her mind drifted quickly into dangerous water. She thought quickly about Danny, but banished him from her mind. She would think of him at the most inopportune and random times. She would wake up and be in the middle of making coffee and think that Danny takes his with cream and two sugars. On the drive to work, hear Billy Joel, and be reminded that he had once invited her to a concert with him.  
  
CJ requested a file from Carol and walked into her office. She let out a heavy sigh, shut the door and leaned against it. Her eyes stung and her stomach grumbled. It occurred to her only then that she had not eaten lunch that day, and she would not allow herself to begin skipping meals again. She toyed with calling up Josh and guilt tripping him into buying herself, as well as the bullpen, dinner. She decided against it, figuring that she had put the poor boy through enough that week.  
  
She sighed again and slowly pushed herself away from the hard mahogany. She toyed with the idea of skipping out early, but once again, attesting to her determined nature, decided to stay until Leo left. Debating on whether or not to read the file on her couch or in her chair, she picked up a stress ball and absent mindedly tossed it from hand to hand. Her stance was loose, but she felt tightly wound, like there was something she was supposed to be doing, but it was somehow evading her.  
  
A quiet knock on the door broke her out of her reverie and she sent the stress ball flying into her television. CJ paused, cringed slightly, and looked over towards the TV. Suddenly, she felt extremely fatigued and wondered if her earlier decision not to leave was not for the worse. Belatedly, she opened her door, just as the person was about to knock again.  
  
"Did I interrupt mother/daughter time?" Danny asked, leaning against the doorframe. He quirked an eyebrow, smiled through his beard. If she had allowed herself to think about it, she would have deemed it endearing.  
  
"Sadly no, Gail has been somewhat detached since the attempt on her life." CJ moved back, signaling for Danny to enter. He did, but waited until she seated herself to begin speaking. She flopped back on the couch and covered her eyes with her hands. He smiled, looking away, willing himself not to make a smart ass comment.  
  
Danny felt uncomfortable for a moment, as neither one of them was speaking. There was much that he wanted to say, but as usual, he decided that the time was not right. The time never seemed to be right for the two of them. The lamp from the end table shed soft yellow light over her hair and made it glow slightly. His smile grew, and he breathed in the comfort and amazement of the quiet moment. He enjoyed it when it was quiet, when he could just look at her and ask himself 'what if'; ask himself what she would do if he just sat down and kissed her. Ask himself what would happen if she would just allow him to love her.  
  
His thoughts were cut off when she spoke. "What did you need Danny?" She asked, sounding much more exasperated than she had meant to. His face fell just a bit, but he decided to pick up the ball and go with it. Danny Concanon was nothing if not determined.  
  
"I came to exercise my visitation rights." He said, turning and swirling his index finger in the fish bowl. Gail swam playfully around it, and his smile bordered on a grin. "And she seems fine to me CJ, maybe she's just daddy's little girl."  
  
CJ's lethargy slipped away as she kicked into 'banter mood.' She straightened her posture and glared pointedly at Danny. "Seems daddy is late with some of his child support checks." She threw back at him. She then realized that she had left a verbal opening for him to weasel himself through. Silently, she cursed herself.  
  
"How much does it cost to take care of a goldfish? Are you an unfit mother looking to weasel me out of my money? I see how it is, take my check, which I work very hard to end by the way, and go out and get your nails done. That's how it goes right?" He asked, standing up and walking over to where she was seated. His eyebrow quirked again prompting her to answer, and he crossed his arms over his chest to make himself seem more serious.  
  
They were at an impasse. Staring at one another, their playful toned slipped gradually away and they were left to simmer in the tension that followed them wherever they went.  
  
"What if I asked you to throw caution to the wind?" Danny asked, tilted his head up as he usually did when he asked a question, and seated himself next to her. She threw her hand over her eyes once more. Deftly, she tried to avoid another conversation that she knew was just going to occur anyway.  
  
"What if you did?" She shot back, her voice teetering on the edge of annoyance, or at least that was how she wanted it to seem.  
  
"Throw caution to the wind." Danny requested, his eyes settling on her face. She could feel the heat of his gaze but refused to uncover her eyes. Eye contact was not what she wanted. She knew if she looked at him, some of her resolve would slip and she might give into him. "And don't cover your eyes CJ. If you cover your eyes it means you might be rolling them, and then however would I know if you were being sarcastic?"  
  
His voice, more soothing now, had a hint of amusement in it. He gripped her arm and pulled it down from her face, placing it in her lap.  
  
She did not smile, but tipped her head and examined him for a moment.  
  
"Danny, I just finished briefing, I have to look over this file-" She picked it up and waved it in front of his face just to make sure that he didn't think that she was making excuses. He grabbed it out of her hand and placed it down on the end table. "And it's Friday." She finished quietly, having not anticipated him touching her. CJ was unable to control her lips, which quirked up involuntarily.  
  
Suddenly, he leaned in and kissed her, softly, gently. She recalled the last time she had kissed him, over a year ago, and remembered the familiar flutter of butterflies in her stomach. Resisting the urge to bring her hands into his hair in order to urge him on, she sat up a bit, successfully ending the kiss. Fighting the urge to kiss her again, he settled for running his fingers through her hair. Leaning into his touch, she quickly decided that three years of fighting her instincts was not conducive to her mental health, and that letting up on her strict regulations might do her some good. It would most certainly bear well for her blood pressure.  
  
So, she smiled, which caused him to smile, and they sat there for a time, just smiling at one another, not really thinking about the past or the future, just enjoying silence that surrounded them.  
  
"Oh, don't think I didn't notice when your stomach rumbled there." Danny stood up, and moved back from her a bit. "We're gonna go grab something to eat, and you're going to like it."  
  
Habit tripped her up a bit. "I can't, I have to read this-"  
  
"We'll just go and get something to eat, have a 'business dinner', and then you can come back and work yourself silly. Besides, we don't want Gail to think we have a strained relationship, do we?" He joked.  
  
CJ thought for a moment, looked from the file to Danny and back to the file.  
  
"I'll give you an hour of my time." She said, rising from the couch and grabbing her overcoat. Danny smiled and followed her out of her office.  
  
"I can make a lot of progress in an hour." He muttered under his breath, just loud enough so that Josh, who was passing by, could hear. Josh grinned and sneakily, gave Danny a high five. 


	2. Something Found

Title: Something Found  
  
Author: ScullyAsTrinity  
  
Rating: R, for sexxxxxual situations.  
  
Category: CJ/Danny  
  
Notes: This part is for Amanda too because she wanted a little bit of normalcy, and a little bit of sex.  
  
[Something Found]  
  
Just as CJ was about to crawl into her tub for a bath, there was a loud knock at the door. She was disinclined to answer it, but did so anyway, just in case it was Josh, drunk out of his mind because he found out about the bill and drank himself into a stupor. Reaching across the back of the bathroom door, she grabbed her purple silk robe and flung it on herself.  
  
Making her way to the front door, she was confronted with the image of a distorted Danny, through her peephole. His head hung low, and his clothes held the tell tale wetness that came from walking in a torrential downpour.  
  
Her heart twinged for a moment, and she pressed her face against the cool wood of the door. Sighed, she sighed and looked at him again, and caught him bringing his hand up again to rap on her door.  
  
"What is it Danny?" She murmured, not really expecting him to hear her, but he did.  
  
"I just, can I come in? Just for a minute?" He said, his head finally lifting to reveal the pain in his eyes. CJ toyed with the idea, he hand on the chain of the door, her head still against the wood.  
  
Reluctantly, she unchained the door and swung it open, refusing to look him in the eye as he passed by her into her apartment. She offered to take his coat, he refused, but stood there, dripping in the center of her living room.  
  
CJ feigned exasperation, placed her hands on her hips, tilted her head. "What?" She asked, ending it on a sigh.  
  
"CJ, something's missing here. I've felt strange since last week, and I just, I want..." He trailed off, moved around the back of her couch, sat down. Danny Concanon, the witty reporter was gone now. He had been replaced with a tortured, dejected man that CJ had never seen before.  
  
She moved and sat down next to him on the couch. He had dropped his head into his hands, elbows resting on his knees, but when he heard her movement, he looked up, met her eyes for the first time that evening.  
  
"I don't know what's happening here Danny, I just..." It was her turn to be at a loss for words.  
  
"You just think it would be better if we'd be friends." He finished for her, knowing that it was coming, but not wanting to face it.  
  
"I just think that all that we do to try and make this happen... it's not enough. It never seems to be enough."  
  
"I know. And you know I want it to be. Really, all I want right now is, well. Nevermind." Danny leaned against the back of the couch, and his face fell just a bit more. Suddenly, he began speaking again. "I wake up at night CJ, in the middle of the night, and I wonder why you aren't with me, I wrack my brain for reasons that you're not with me right then, in my bed. And I can never come up with a good reason. So I'm gonna ask you now, give me one really good reason, one reason and I'll leave."  
  
Stricken, she did think, but couldn't come up with a good explanation to Danny's question, so instead, she sat there silently.  
  
"Friends." She muttered under her breath and looked over, out the window, into the rainy night.  
  
"Platonic." He said in response, following her gaze to the rain. They both sat there for a bit, and then Danny got up and began pacing her living room, leaving boot prints all over her white rug.  
  
She got up to halt his movement, as it was making her very agitated, and he grabbed her by the arm, stared her in the eye, willed her to try and make him stop.  
  
And somehow in the middle of it all, his hand had snaked through her hair and his lips had collided with hers in a very unfriendly manner. Her lips responded in kind, the thought of a platonic relationship flying out the window with the rest of her reason.  
  
Not that she was sure quite what it felt like to love someone. She was familiar with longing, like that she had felt when he had left for the year. And she had felt yearning, longing, wanting. She had missed him, and needed to be filled in some inexplicable way. As if longing wasn't enough, she would cry herself to sleep, wondering if she had truly given up what she had always wanted to have.  
  
Depth. Intuition. Nothing had she wanted more than to know just what it would have been if it had been him,  
  
Now she was getting a second chance, a chance to know just what exactly the true feeling of love and longing felt life.  
  
Her hair spilled upon the off-white of her pillows and she wondered for a moment what he saw when he looked down upon her. Then, well then, she didn't care, because she saw the tiny blue flecks in his eyes, saw him staring through her and realized that he wouldn't be looking at her if she weren't letting him. If he didn't want to be there.  
  
His kisses rained down on her cheek and for a moment she thought she heard something binding escape from his lips but she ignored it. Like she always did, because she wasn't inclined to trust.  
  
She thought she had closed the blinds, but the moonlight filtered in anyway, splayed over the hair that was splayed over the pillow. She barely registered the tear that ran down over her cheek. Barely registered the pad of his finger that wiped it away. She was thoroughly amazed that he didn't leave then, seeing her weakness. Astounded.  
  
Her fingers played over the texture of Danny's hair, attempting to count each curl, map his scalp. It was no use, she couldn't stay above that water that was threatening to drown her, so she let it.  
  
Thirty-eight years, thirty-eight years and she had felt nothing remotely close to this. Her breath would hitch when his lips would fall upon her hairline, so tender, unlike the sex that she had enjoyed before. He was so startlingly tender, surprisingly loving.  
  
And his lips fell upon hers when she felt the slide into her body. And he swallowed the gasp that escaped from her lungs and replaced it with a desperation to...  
  
To...  
  
Faster, harder.  
  
But he didn't obey, would only look into her eyes and implore. Truth be told, if he were asked, he would say that it never happened like this. Never occurred with a semblance with pace; was generally finished rushed; generally ended with him leaving in the middle of the evening. It was different now, his thrusts felt purposeful, meaningful.  
  
As much as he wished to be mad at her, punish her for making him wait so long to love her... all he could really feel was what she was to him. What he wanted from her, could feel what she wanted from him.  
  
Because he could finally feel, all he wished to do was cry, but like any true man, held it in. Instead of tears, he dropped kisses on her cheeks, peppered them in her hair, tried to whisper things in her ear, but they were caught in her throat.  
  
He heard her gasp, louder than before, and he looked down, into her eyes. Her first instinct was to look away, because she knew a connection like that would mean something while they were doing this. Knew once he saw the look her in eyes, he would know what it meant and wouldn't be able to pretend like his kisses meant nothing anymore. Another tear traced down her cheek and she swore that just for a moment, just a moment everything stopped and all that existed was her breath and him inside her.  
  
But then, then he collapsed beside her, gently collapsing. Tears still staining her cheeks and his sweat still on his chin. She wished that she could find something wrong, find something to be upset about, so that she was on familiar ground again.  
  
"You know what I want to say." He said, swiping his hand across her forehead, allowing his fingers to play in her hair. Ever so gently, she leaned into the touch and he felt her nod. "You know what I'm waiting on, I'm not saying it again CJ, I'm waiting on you."  
  
With that, he kissed her forehead, her lips, her collarbone.  
  
Then, she was unsure how to act, so she turned, and he brought his slightly shorter body up against hers, kissed her shoulder and said it again. "I'm just waiting on you." 


End file.
